time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
