I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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