its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
dude. I can hear the air.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
