i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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