"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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