I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
