Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
