Dual....:-)
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
