I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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