I am in a vortex of obligation.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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