I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
