Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
