Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
