I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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