were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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