also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So vagazzling was a success
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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