chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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