thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
