Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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