there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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