Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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