Where is the hickey?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
