we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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