Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
