Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
