Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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