they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
barbara walters just said penis...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
