Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
