Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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