All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
