the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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