There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
