apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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