38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
