i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
