I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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