he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
