she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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