yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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