C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Your cock deserves a montage
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
