I'm really into asian looking animals
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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