The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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