In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
