Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
