Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I think I just sharted jello shots
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