We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
