when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
