Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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