Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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