He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
