Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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