you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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